No, Sending Troops Into Iraq Won’t Stop Beheadings

Seriously. It won’t. Evidence? Yeah, 75% of people who believe we must send troops into Iraq to stop these horrifying beheadings don’t give a crap about evidence. Plus, they weren’t all that horrified when ISIS was only killing Syrians, Iraqis and Kurds.

But okay:

Feb 2002 – Daniel Pearl is beheaded. On video.
March 2003 – The US sends 148,000 of a roughly 200K troop strong force into Iraq, fuck things up, and topple Saddam Hussein.
May 2004 – Nick Berg is beheaded. On video.

As you can see, the presence of 200,000 troops in Iraq was not enough to stop Berg’s beheading. And it won’t be enough now. And what – we’re going to spend another $4 trillion just to prevent some other idiot journalist from going into post-civil-war Syria on the border of recently seized ISIS territory, unarmed, and sitting and drinking coffee in an internet cafe?

What was it the idiots said about Jennifer Lawrence’s pics being stolen? Don’t take pics, and they won’t be stolen. Well that’s moronic and borderline rape-shaming, but how about if the fucking JOURNALISTS stop GOING INTO THE MIDDLE EAST? Isn’t that simpler and cheaper in every single possible way than sending American troops?

Yes it is.

Aren’t You Lovely?

It’s serene sometimes
The peace brought about
By not having to hear the madness
Are you kidding me
With the level of high school bullshit
That you seem to love?
The world doesn’t work like you want
Guess what? That’s life
Welcome to adulthood
At some point your depression
Changed into narcissism
Going from being sad
Over things that happened to you
Into being sad
Because people and things and events
Won’t do precisely what you want them to do
You complain that others won’t accept you
The way you are
Isn’t that the same thing
As saying you’re perfect
And you don’t need to change?
If you really want to experience life
Try growing up
Maybe it will do some good
Once you start accepting other people
The way THEY are

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Getting Old Sucks After 21

Why bother having birthdays after 21? You can do everything then, so there’s no point. And the older you get, the more dissociated you are from that which is cool, usually. the younger people come in and tell you what is cool, and that you are not anymore, unless you stay current. Even if you stay current, you’re still that creepy old guy, or that out-of-touch sad lady. But why? How is it that there are so many Silver  Foxes and MILFs out there, but generally people think older people are lost?

Time screws us all. They give money to the older people, who can’t really do anything with it, and give the looks and virility to the youth who do nothing. Is this the fucking midlife crisis I swore I’d never have, right here in this post?

Fuck.

Hey Guy with an Agenda – You’re a Moron

Hey. You. Guy with an agenda. I realize you think you know what you’re talking about, but you just don’t. You so very much don’t. You are actually a moron.

And worse than that, you’re a lazy moron, because from what I can tell, you just repeat things that you read or hear in the headlines of your favorite news sites, without reading the text of the articles, much less *gasp* opposing articles, or articles that don’t preach to the choir you are a member of. You just pass these things along and expect people to just go along with it, never call you on anything. Maybe you’re used to people following you without question, who knows. But when reality comes along, look out. It’s gunning for you. And it won’t be pretty.

You’d think that someone who is supposed to be intelligent would at least check out all the major positions and viewpoints before making a decision, but no. Not you. You’re a person who thinks that it’s a black and white world, people are for you or against you, this way or that way – in short, you’re a binarian. But the truth is that there are good and bad points on every side, and there are geniuses and morons on every side, but people are too timid to step out of line and question something. What ends up happening is that the truth is dictated not by the smartest or most qualified, but the LOUDEST.

And on the internet, that means the person with the agenda. And that’s you. You’re the loudest, but you are not the smartest. You are a moron.

Hey, Guy Who Cut Me Off

You’re an asshole. I wasn’t aware it was possible to drive a motor vehicle with your head completely up your ass, but hey, you gave it a shot. Can you actually read a book up there too? What, you have a solar light up in your anus and a panel on your stupid hat?

Anyway, I just want to say thanks for being so into you that you failed to recognize that OTHER PEOPLE USE THE ROADS.

Fuck you, and I hope you get in a wreck.

Hey Coworker Talking About Politics At Work – Shut The Fuck Up

Coworker:

In case you didn’t know, which is a safe bet on literally any topic, you stupid dick, there are three big taboo topics at work. You don’t talk about religion. You don’t talk about politics. And  you don’t talk about issues – like gun control, abortion, healthcare, etc. You are fucking breaking all three of these taboos! You’re sitting there bitching about politics, debates, policy, government, rules, the media, abortion, religion, terrorists etc., etc. in the loudest possible voice.

Go do some fucking work, you loud-mouthed moronic bastard.

You are a moron, a tool, and an idiot. You should be taken out back and shit on by Dutch porn stars repeatedly until you see how full of shit you are with your own two eyes. Of course, that’s after you take off your special glasses that only show you a rosy tunnel vision world.

Your comments would be inappropriate and inflammatory no matter which side they came from, you slack-jawed Kool-Aid drinker. Sure, I also happen to disagree with you, but that’s the least of your problems. You have done nothing but repeat the mindless idiocy that has been shoved into your brain by the Idiot Roofies they slipped into your Kool-Aid.

In closing, I hope you quit very soon, but not as much as I hope you use a fucking breath mint in the very near future. By the way, if you aren’t even aware of how bad you smell, how the fuck are you going to be aware enough to have anything intelligent to add to any conversation ever? Since you’re a fucking idiot, I’ll tell you: you’re not.

Shut the fuck up,

King Contrary Man

Stars Wear Same Clothes Out In Public

Today, several stars wore the same things out in public, such as underwear, socks, pants, dresses, skirts and shoes. They also ate the same foods, drank the same drinks, and drove the same petroleum- or electricity-driven vehicles. They all pooped, peed and perspired in the same rooms! How can this be happening!

Personally, I think this is an OUTRAGE! What a scandal that stars would do this! Don’t they have publicists that handle this sort of thing, so they aren’t caught out wearing the same stuff as another celebrity? If I was a celebrity with a publicist, and they let me go out wearing shirts and underpants just like Johnny Depp or Kate Beckinsale, I would probably reduce their salaries! Because I couldn’t fire them – I just saw Jude Law doing the same thing over the weekend, and I do NOT want my picture all over the media shockingly being accused of ripping off another celebrity! That’s why I don’t have moves like Jagger! Adam Levine, your days are numbered.